Today I stepped on poop. Today I scrubbed dried poop off our new hardwood floors. Today I wiped up enough pee to fill our front loading, eco friendly, extra large washing machine with urine soaked towels. That is a lot of towels. Thank God for the sanitary setting on that machine! Today M peed on the potty chair twice. Today P tinkled in the potty chair. Today there was more pee and poo on our floors than there was in the potty chairs that are placed not so discretely in every room in our house. Again, I am thanking God, if it wasn’t for four dollar potty chairs from IKEA, I would have had a second load of pee soaked laundry! Not joking, our house looks like a display isle straight from the IKEA show room. I bet we have at least 9 potty chairs in our house…. and my boys still pee on the floors. Seriously?!?!

I just don’t get it. I try to make it fun. I have put cheerios in the toilet as “target practice.” I sing songs about pee. We watch movies about peeing (I must take a moment to recommend Elmo’s Potty Time- there are some pretty catchy tunes in that movie). We have read countless books. I swear I am on the verge of a potty training melt down. And what makes it the worst, I think pee smells like warm apple juice and it just so happens:

Apple juice is my first aversion discovery. Did I mention that I think pee smells like apple juice? Yeah that sucks. That is a major serious, potty training, house reaking, pregnancy bummer.

And staying on the whole pee soaked topic because I know you love it! I got one more pee story for you. I filled a tiny sanitized plastic cup in a badly florescent lit clinic bathroom today. Today a doctor, actually it was probably some under paid lab tech that did all the dirty work, confirmed that I am for sure, definitely, very much so with child! And by that I mean that I have a baby in my belly!!! I am pregnant! Bun in the oven. Preggers. Knocked up.

Whatever you want to call it, I am it.

And even more good news. Babycenter.com was wrong. My estimated due date (EDD) is actually July 14th. That gives me just a wee bit more wiggle room when it comes to not having the baby on M’s 4th birthday (July 10th).

I have been peed on, I have stepped in poop, I have cleaned up both but it doesn’t matter because I love my boys. I loathe potty training. I will have to do it again in about 3 years, but it doesn’t matter because I love this baby. This baby that is the size of a lentil bean right now (whatever a lentil bean is?!) I love him or her. I love this baby.

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