Thoughts
Posts tagged baby making
Focusing on the Positive
Nov 14th
I have been so focused on the negative (and negative again) lately that it has been tough to see anything through rose colored glasses.
I have been impatient with my boys and even worse, I have been distracted. I have trouble being focused and staying involved in the day to day stuff with the boys. I don’t even notice when I go into a daze while I am playing with them. But at the slightest twinge in my belly or something something down there, I am brought back to the present. Only then do I realize that I have been choo choo-ing the train over the same few tracks for God knows how long.
I finally broke down, stopped the google searches, stopped reading all the pregnancy test false negative stories online (there are hundreds to be read) and called my Doctor’s nurse. She told me there is nothing to worry about and that the Doctor doesn’t need to see me unless another week passes without a period BUT if I wanted to schedule an appointment to get a blood test, for my own sanity, then I could call back on Monday.
Well she said it, my sanity is at stake, so Monday morning I am calling to schedule an appointment. I just want to know! Those 5 words have been mumbled, sighed, screamed and whined for 2 1/2 weeks straight!
Two and a half weeks.
I keep thinking I must be pregnant, I have cramps, I have nausea, I have exhaustion…. I do not however, have a plus sign.
So until they draw blood and confirm either way, I am focusing on the positive. I have to. If I am pregnant, it isn’t good for me to be stressing. And for my boys, I have to focus on them. I may not have a positive pregnancy test, but I do have two other positives.
One likes to wash dishes.
the other likes to play Mary Poppins
Negative???
Nov 10th
I am just not sure what is going on. Still no period, yet I have taken two negative tests. I agree with Nomz that the tests are expensive, so I don’t want to be taking one every day… but I do! I want to know.I am resisting for another couple days. Then I am peeing on another stick. (Target brand — to same some cash!)
I just don’t get it.
SPOILER ALERT FOR BROTHERS AND SISTERS FANS!
Rebecca’s test was positive.
I love Brothers and Sisters. Even if Rebecca's PT was positive and mine were negative!
mine were negative. We even used the same test! That might just be the only thing we have in common!
Negative
Nov 7th
5 am: I couldn’t sleep any longer. Anxiety and a need to pee had me heading to the bathroom.
negative.
9 pm: after a quick trip to Target and after a long day of doubting earlier results (still no period-6 days late!)
very negative.
And at about 9:15 pm tonight: my consolation prize.
Test Anxiety
Nov 6th
I have the crampy tummy, the scattered brain, loss of focus and hightened emotions. I am nervous. I am done with school. I never thought the prospect of a test would get me all nerve racked ever again. But it has. One little test has me on edge.
I am anxious to get it done, but nervous about the results. I want to know…. but I am afraid of the results.
When I pee on that stick, will there be two lines or just one sad lonely negative little line?
I didn’t think I was ready for this test to be postive. I thought I wanted to fail a few more times… but I don’t. I wanted to be in better shape. I wanted my body to be more ready. I wanted to be thinner so I wasn’t the “Should I ask if she is pregnant or is she just fat” lady again. I wanted to be healthy but I also wanted to look super cute in maternity clothes. But now, I don’t care. Bring on the moo moos. I have never wanted to pass a test so badly.
I want to be pregnant.
Tomorrow morning I am taking the test. T wanted to be there when I take it. I think he knew I would be a bit emotional about the results, whichever way it turns out, so he suggested we do it Saturday morning (after all morning pee is the best pee!) Have I mentioned yet that I love my husband?
So, now it is the waiting game. Anytime I feel somethin’ somethin’ happening down there, I rush to the bathroom – praying the whole way that it isn’t Aunt Flo making her belated apperance.
In less than 24 hours, I am peeing on a stick….
In less than 24 hours, I will know for sure if all these “symptoms” are just another sign of battling swine flu or if it is the real deal.
In less than 24 hours, We will know if our family will be forever changed.
In less than 24 hours, ….. that is FOREVER away.
I am anxious. I want to pass. I want that stick to be positive. I want to be pregnant. I am ready to be pregnant.
I have also talked about getting pregnant and pre baby diets here, here, here, here and here!
Pre-Baby Diet Update
Oct 12th
I have not been able to make it to the gym because of the boys getting H1N1… yeah that’s right the freaking swine flu. After the swine flu, well not after it because you are contagious for 4-6 days after the fever breaks – so really it was somewhere toward the end of the swine flu, P got a double ear infection and M got a cold. Then… yes there is more! Then, I fell ( I was wearing Crocs in our disaster of a construction zone-so stupid!) and tore ligaments in my foot. I couldn’t walk on it for 6 days. It has been a week and a half since then and I am just now able to walk normal. I do okay for the bulk of the day, but by the end of the day I still need to elevate and ice.
So all of that, that is why I have not been to the gym.
BUT
And this is a big whopper of a BUT…
I have still lost 6 lbs. SIX! Not as much as I hoped for the month, but without going to the gym, 6 lbs is pretty dang good.
How did I do it? This is how:
I can not believe what a difference the a simple scale can make. I love it. At first, I do admit, that I felt like…. well I felt HUNGRY! Adjusting to eating the “correct” amount is tough but so doable. And now, the 3-4 ounce chicken breast is filling. It is satisfying. But not stuffing. Now, with my scale, I eat the right amount. I don’t need to unbutton my pants at the end of a meal ANDÂ I am loosing weight.
The scale has been a huge help but that doesn’t fix my impulsive need to eat comfort food. So with the help of the boys’ crayons and a huge sheet of paper I made this sure fire self check sign: My Self Help Singage!
Now if we could just get healthy and I could make it to the gym, I could shed enough weight so we could finally put the condoms away and start the baby making fun!
Check out other Pre-Baby Diet Posts:
