Thoughts
Posts tagged kids
You’ve Been Almond Joyed!
Nov 3rd
Them: (Knock Knock)
Me: (open door)
Them: TRICK OR TREAT!
Me: (asses the situation- see steps below)
- Are they too old to be trick or treating?
- Are they wearing a costume?
- Is it a good costume or just a pair of ears glued onto a head band or even just some paint smeared on their face?
- Do they have a good attitude?
- Double candy for originality.
Me: Happy Halloween! (put the candy the kid has earned into candy bag.)
Top Shelf Candy!
You have been Almond Joyed!
I personally enjoy an Almond Joy. I like coconut. I like chocolate. I like almonds. What is not to like? Kids on the other hand, usually don’t like Almond Joy candy bars. So when kids didn’t earn Top Shelf Candy, they got Almond Joyed!
These are some of the kids who got Almond Joyed:
- Tween Girl: When I answered the door the girl, who was probably about 12 (too old!), held up her finger to me and said into her phone – HER CELL PHONE!- “Hold on a minute.” Then turns to me and says in a sweet voice, “Trick or Treat!?” — Almond Joy
- Ambitious Greedy Boy: A boy bordering on too old to trick or treat got Almond Joyed because when I answered the door, he looked at me expectantly, held out his comforter bag (the clear big bags that comforter/bed in a bag sets come in) and said in a very snotty – you owe this to me voice “Trick or Treat.” Almond Joy. Too old. Bad attitude.
- No Costume kids. Enough said. If you don’t even TRY. Not even a fake, headband with ears attached costume, I didn’t even hesitate. Almond Joy.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not the grinch of Halloween. I am no Scrooge. I love it. The fantasy, the costumes, the candy, the general energy of the night! I over give candy to creative, fun costumes. Young kids who are excited and eager and gratful, will get a handful of Top Shelf Candy.
Kids who got Top Shelf Candy:
- Jelly Belly Costume Genius: A clear big garbage bag around the torso (as if the kid was the trash in the bag) and then the bag was filled with blown up brightly colored medium sized balloons. She had a Jelly Belly logo taped to the outside of the bag. She looked like a bag of Jelly Bellys. So cute. So original. So inexpensive. Handful of Top Shelf Candy.
- Sushi Girl: This girl was a large LARGE sushi roll. Cardboard was shaped around he torso and packing peanuts were hot glued on for the rice. The veggie and meat were just drawn in the center. Very original. Top Shelf Candy Worthy.
- Themes. I love a costume theme. I love when a group comes up and they are apart of a group. Clever. Well organized. Top Shelf Candy earned.
I love Halloween. I buy the good candy for the Trick or Treaters. I give it generously, but you got to earn it.
Too Many Toys!
Jul 20th
David Shannon is my favorite children’s author of the moment. Anything he writes my boys just eat up. M’s favorite is Smash Crash. Pictured above is my favorite, Too Many Toys. They are fun to read and no matter how tired I am, I always find my self getting wrapped up in his books. It is impossible to read them with out sound effects and silly voices. The illustrations are bright and catch the boys’ eye with out dumbing down the art. Target has a huge selection, but you can get them for about $4 cheaper on Amazon.
Bloody Genius Mars Company
Jul 16th
I don’t know the origins of M&Ms but who ever it was who came up with the name is genius! I must wiki it because someone deserves a round of marketing genius applause!
Now that we have toddlers T and I find ourselves pulling out our inner spell check to spell out words all the time. S-N-A-C-K time yet? B-E-D time? S-E-X tonight?
Recently on a long trip home from the in-laws we were in spell-all mode. The boys were cranky, we were low on snacks (bad rationing on my part)with still a good hour of rush hour city driving left and T and I were needing a pick me up.
All we had left was a half a bag of M&Ms and we knew we had to be sneaky about it. Half a bag of M&Ms split four ways, isn’t going to curb hunger it would just escalate into full blown “NEED MORE!” meltdown.
In my most clever of clever moments, moments after planning the B-A-T-H then B-E-D routine for the evening, I showed T the rolled up half bag of chocolaty goodness and asked, “Wanna split the last of the M-and-M….S-H-I-T! And chaos ensued. The M&Ms ended up only being split 2 ways, just not the way I had planned. My rainbow colored (“melt in your mouth not in your hand” my ass!) boys were smiling contently as we pulled into the garage that night.
So to you, Mr. (because a woman would have thought better) Mars Company Man who named M&Ms M&M, as a mom I shake my fist at you for making motherhood that much harder. As a consumer, I tip my hat. Genius.
Wiki update: I was right, it was a man. Two men in fact.
Good Mommy Day
Jul 3rd
I am coining a new acronym. GMD. Good Mommy Day.
Today was a GMD.
I felt like I could be a Parents magazine contributor instead of a SAHM venting through her blog. Everything ran smoothly, kids behaved well, they played nice together… I have two toddler boys. Smooth, well behaved days do not happen often. In fact they rarely happen.
I am coining another one. BMD. Bad Mommy Day.
For the past week or so the BMDs have been greatly outnumbering the GMDs. I have felt like a crappy mom. It took all my energy to just do the bare minimum. I napped everyday during nap time instead of being productive. The house got so bad I was embarrassed to open the door when the UPS man came with my gDaipers. And, I cooked… no no, I heated processed crap in the microwave and counted fruit cocktail as a fruit.
I think kids have a sixth sense. They seem to know exactly how far they can push you. My boys know. They have to, otherwise, why would they have pulled a complete 180 and been little angels today. It is days like today where I fill my camera’s memory card with fantastic, funny, and undeniably wonderful photos of my boys.
M feeding the ducks
P getting as close to the water as possible!
M playing tractors
M reading Elmo
